Tuesday, February 11, 2020

wandering

Alone. Wandering. It’s unnerving when life takes a turn and the ground you’ve built your life on is unsure...when you realize the path where your feet have settled is no longer a path at all, when equations you’ve relied on no longer balance.
~~Like the time my friend and I went on a simple four-wheeler ride and 10 hours later found ourselves walking in the woods, no trail in sight, no person in sight, and no 4-wheeler in sight. We had lost our way. And yes, we even lost the 4-wheeler. How does that happen? That’s a story for another day. “Help, Help” our shaky, tearful preteen voices yelled. We clung together like magnets, walking and looking and yelling. Hours and hours. Scene after scene went through my mind of living the rest of our lives in the woods, lost. I was terrified, but not the horror movie kind of terrified. No, it was more of a sudden realization that life was not as safe as I once thought—for the first 12 years of my life I didn’t have the understanding that life is hard or that scary things happen or that all trails don’t lead home.
I think of this story when I feel the wandering rumbling within. I think of this story when I see someone so far down a road and returning feels impossible. What once felt like an exploration has quietly shifted to being lost in a shifting maze. And the result? Fearful, breathless searching.
It can be terrifying when looking around no longer brings comfort but instead suggests alienation. So alone, not only are you unfamiliar with the surrounding scenery, you’re also unfamiliar with yourself in this unmarked space.
~~Just as the sun was setting we finally heard a voice--a distant “Heather!...Shelley!...Come toward my voice” The voice so distant we couldn’t tell which way to turn so we stood still, listening and hoping. Minutes that felt like hours passed and then we saw him. We had been found. If you’ve ever gotten lost, you know the sudden burst of hope, joy, and relief at the first sight of rescue. They had called in a man who knew those woods “like tha back a my hand.” I remember the sight of him, this burly, serious man. He was clearly the keeper of the woods and he was on a rescue mission. We climbed on His 4 wheeler and clung tight, breathing deep, because we had been found.
Friend, I’m not sure if this story is familiar to you. I don’t know if you are wandering right now or not. But if by chance you are, can I tell you something you may need to reread when you’re ready? You are not alone. Your God knows the way. He knows how far you’ve traveled and He knows the reason.
He knows if you’re wandering for survival-- whether it’s running from chaos or looking for safety, The Prince of Peace knows.
He knows if your wandering is rebellion--a rejection of people, ideas, and beliefs in search of your own, The Truth incarnate knows.
He knows if boredom has caused you to wander-- life hasn’t turned out the way you envisioned and your restless heart has grown too restless to contain, The Abundant Life-Giver knows.
Questions, doubts, anger, hurts...whatever your reason, your Father in heaven knows.
The One who knows the way, the “Keeper of the Woods,” is on a rescue mission. It isn’t to bring you shame, but rather to bring you home. It may not be so He can bring you back to life like it was, but it certainly is to bring you to Himself.
“Son! Daughter! Come toward my voice,” He calls. And in His mercy and grace, He’ll clarify, prove, and confirm who He is, who you are, and why walking with Him is infinitely better than walking away from Him. He calls your name. His eye is on you. He is your rescue.

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