stuck

A cross-stitched phrase hung on the narrow wall between the kitchen and dining room when I was a child.  

When God closes a door, He opens a window, 

the threads proclaimed in country blue.  Above the words, sat a sweet little bird looking out the window. 

I’ve thought about that short phrase a lot over the last few years.

Doors close a lot in life.  When we are the one initiating the closing, the change of a new direction can be exciting, but when it is a God-initiated closed door we might spend quite some time fumbling around for a window or even a light switch.    
It gets real when we feel that we're on the wrong side of a closed door--caught in between the shutting of the door and the opening of the window.  Stuck.

Like the time I chased my sister outside with not so great timing--the screen door latching closed behind me at the same time my sister slammed the front door, causing me to be what we call in the South “stuck between a rock and a hard place”…or more fittingly, “stuck between two shut doors.” The space was so tight that I couldn’t move my arms to open either unlocked door. Stuck.

Now before you ask if this was possible, I should add that it was before twinkies and kool-aid became the staples of my adolescent diet.

For years, I assumed when God closed a door, He already had a window, or preferably another door, wide open, waiting on us.  

Surely He wouldn’t cause us to slow down and be still; surely “be still” means to still your mind in chaos, not your actual body or life or calendar; surely He would want us to go from one activity, ministry, or commitment to the next.  He’s not the God of long pauses but of blazing forward, right?

Oh goodness, what kool-aid was I drinking?  While there are times when God seamlessly leads us from one thing to another, the busyness that comes from activity, especially good activity, can lead us to function on autopilot.   

We confuse the world we see, which tells that growth, even spiritual growth, means bigger and better—like climbing a ladder and at the top:“ta da…look at what I’ve become…look at this shiny life of significance that God has blessed me with,” with the kingdom that is often unseen—that there is no ladder in the Kingdom of God and if there is, it is either to climb down or lay on its side as a bridge.   Phrases like, He must become greater, I must become less, become sweet sentiments.   Becoming less is replaced with increasing your influence.  

When we feel stuck, there is a great deal of wrestling that takes place.  We wrestle with accepting our circumstances.  We wrestle with God and His will because it is so different than ours. We wrestle with our own inner sin and weakness that was easily ignored during busy seasons but is glaring when life is still. It's understandable why we often avoid these pauses like strep throat. 

But when we are stuck, God shows that walking with Him is more about the walking with Him and less about a glittery arrival, as Brennan Manning called it.

When we are stuck, we learn more about His character and His heart toward our broken world and  toward us, His children.  When our hands are empty and not full of activity or accomplishment, when the “with-ness” of God becomes the one remaining thing, when we feel we have nothing to “offer” or hold up for his approval, we are left with the truth that His acceptance, love, and presence depend entirely upon our Jesus and not even a tad on us. 

 I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.  Psalm 131:2  

Creation's Chorus

The mountains declare the glory of God. 

The majesty, the grandeur, the beauty, the incomparable, infinite, incomprehensible—all on display for the looking eye.

The flowers, those 3D color wheels, remind that beauty is God’s design. 
Every hue of yellow, orange, blue and purple proclaim, look at me, look at me,
reminding us of the Author of Beauty, look at Him, look at Him. 

Every stem and petal exhibit the intricate attention of the Master Artist. 

The trees, the singing birds, each living thing works together to exhale, glory, glory, glory.

  The rocks, the grass, the streams, all say, 
our God is strong, our God is lush and vibrant.

The riches of His beauty declare, you are loved.

All details of His creation sing in unison, look at the work of His hands. 
He has made all things for His glory, lifting gazes to Him, the exalted one.

What about you, believer?  What do you proclaim? 

What is your contribution to this glory-chorus of creation? 

Join the proclamation of all creation.  This is what you were made to do--it is your purpose and your joy.

heart surgery

Tension.  Dumbfounded confusion.  Injustice…I sit and watch it in full pixel color and I sense a stirring of attitudes and beliefs I thought only resided in history books. Surely I’m not the only one who feels like people are not speaking the same language.  They are using words with letters and syllables that sound similar, but the core understanding of those words is different.  Reminds me of the people long ago who built a tower--one of self-exaltation, pride, and rebellion--and the result was division and confusion.  

That’s what sin does, doesn’t it? It impairs understanding, separates, and exalts one person over another…when sin enters the picture, confusion is right there with it.  In our fallen world there is only One that can mend the brokenness we see on TV or feel in our own hearts.  Political correctness can’t change the heart; shoulds and shouldn’ts can’t change the heart; rules, programs, and knowledge can’t even change the heart.  The only One that brings the change we so long for is Jesus Himself.  

He is the only cure for a tower-loving, self-exalting people. 

The only thing that changes these deeply embedded prejudices, intolerances, and indifferences is the cutting away of the flesh by the Savior Himself.   Whether hatred or indifference, both are evidence of our own personal need of this life-altering heart surgery.  The gospel of Christ that tells us His death did what we couldn't do and His resurrection gives new life that we didn't deserve is our only hope.

 When God shines His light on sinners’ hearts, He exposes truth for truth and lies for lies; He exposes the vast difference between what we say and what we actually hold to be true.  And when those embarrassing attitudes are made visible, maybe only to me, I must bring them to the cross—the only thing that crucifies sin.  I can no longer glaze over what He’s revealed in me with a shiny coat of political correctness or knowledge of what I should think or feel.  He has uncovered and laid bare this sin He died for and declares I must pluck it out, waging war on my own hypocrisy and prejudice before I can expect something different from others, moving us from mere tolerance of others to active love and care for others.  If God Himself  "rises to show compassion," (Is. 30:18) surely I can walk across the room to do the same. 

This requires courage, tenderness, and compassion. It requires me to have empathy for others and a desire to understand before I can seek to be understood.  No longer can we give pride or defensiveness a seat at the table.  

Brokenness and humility precede healing and wholeness.

I must engage in the story that is playing out in front of me.  I am forfeiting God’s grace to me as an individual and to us as people if I am not applying His cross and, praise God, His resurrection to the story.

And if others wrong me, I know that they are people for whom my Savior died—their attitudes that offend me are no more offensive than the attitudes He has exposed in me.

We are a broken people in full need of a Savior to shine His light, expose our dross, and burn it away.  I must be willing to see what He sees and be willing to let Him do the heart surgery on me before I begin to pray for real change in others.

Oh Lord, shine the light of your Spirit on us—burning away all that is not of You and illuminating all that is. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Give us courage. Give us humility. Give us compassion.  Give us You.  

lessons learned: I Kings 19

When you are brave…praise

When you witness a miracle…watch

When you exalt the One true God…glorify

When you are pursued by the enemy…trust

When you are afraid and run away…remember

When you are alone…notice

When you are without hope and decide to give up…fight

When you are visited by One from above…observe

When you are given heavenly food…enjoy

When you are supplied strength for the road ahead…depend

When you are walking in a strength not your own…thank

When you are on a long journey…rely

When you are questioned by the Lord Himself…consider

When you are filled with righteous indignation…examine

When you receive instructions…heed

When you hear the wind, feel the earthquake and see the fire…stand

When you hear a sound of gentle stillness…listen

When you are led to the wilderness…abide

When you are told to move…go

When you are given promises…claim

When you must pass on your legacy...give

there once was a girl

There once was a girl who said all the wrong yeses and all the wrong nos,                

she was one who was worse than her foes.                                                                

She had a heart that was tender and mind that went deep,                                          

but she wanted a man who her soul he would keep.                                                

She was liked by some and loved by a few,                                                                         

still she lay at night wondering what she should do. 

Keep searching, keep searching, keep searching she thought,                                      

but she never quite found what her heart truly sought.                

After looking and looking she settled on some,                                                                  

but she continued to look when she realized we’re done.                                     

Then finally she met One unique from the rest,                                            

she noticed He was concerned with her best.         

She followed whole-hearted and loved all that He showed her,                                    

like He was enough, her looking was over. 

How closely they walked while His truth He revealed,                                                    

she was overjoyed that her soul He now healed.                                                             

One day, to her surprise, He brought a new man to her path, 

but all she noticed was his dirty blue hat.    
                                                     

She looked closer to find a heart unexpected,                                      

that he too loved this God they both once neglected.

She was thrilled that his heart had met the One too,                                        

and now she knew exactly what to do:

Fall in love, fall in love, fall in love they did do,                                                                 

they both loved the One but now each other too.  

Days turned to months and months turned to years,                                                               

they laughed many laughs and cried many tears.

They had three children, three beautiful boys,
they dreamed and they lived and shared in many joys. 

Their life together could not have been more,                                                   

but then it was time to knock on His door. 

And though their love-long days had come to an end,                                                   

they knew they would see their One, Truest Friend.

Come in, come in, come in to My home,                                                                              

I’m thrilled to welcome you two with my song. 

They hugged and they danced and they sang for forever,                                           

they were finally home, at last, together.

What I'm Saying Goodbye To

With the new year approaching, I thought we'd start a list...

What I’m saying goodbye to:

Listening to the voice of shame

Overthinking and underlistening

Gauging my worth by someone else’s expression

Second guessing the Spirit’s prompting

Guilt over saying No to good things I know aren’t for me

Pride over saying Yes to things that are for me

Saying Yes and complaining the whole time

Saying No out of self-preservation

Saying Fine when I’m not

Rerouting conversations to myself

Taking someone else’s unhealthy relationship issues
personally

Assuming others are ok because of their feed

Avoiding the hard questions out of fear

Withholding the truth just because it’s difficult

Living on autopilot because living intentionally is too hard

Ignoring my own need because it looks sacrificial

Mistaking service for people pleasing

Mistaking self-care for self-indulgence

Mistaking pain management for true healing

Forfeiting God’s grace but clinging to worthless things

Forgetting what He’s done on my behalf

Forgetting who I belong to and His heart toward me