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Monday, March 28, 2016

Whatever

I am no longer my own but Yours. 
Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. 
Put me to doing, put me to suffering. 
Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You,        
exalted for You or brought low for You.
Let me be full, let me be empty. 
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.

And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, You are mine and I am Your’s.  So be it.  And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.  Amen.

John Wesley


Whatever You want, Lord.  This is the phrase the Lord has been teaching me to pray lately.  To want His will and not my own is my heart's deepest longing and need.  This is a hard lesson to learn though.  I have fought Him, struggled with Him, questioned Him...been angry, confused, and indignant.  My pride has been hurt, dismantled, and exposed.  

Whatever You want, Lord.  When I pray these words it is less a disclaimer of mature faith and more  a desperate plea for Him to align my heart with His.  I am hoping that as my mouth utters the words, my heart hears and follows suit.  I want to love Him with all my heart, I want to want His will above all else, I want this heart of flesh to be transformed. 

Whatever You want, Lord. He has not treated me as my sins deserved; He has not counted my sins against me.  Instead, He has lovingly drawn me close, whispering "wait, be still...My ways are not your ways...rejoice in Me and My love for you, not in yourself, your accomplishments, not in anything you can see...everything is a loss compared to the greatness of knowing Me."  Knowing Him.  In His goodness and mercy He has made a way for us to come, not when we finally love Him enough, but in the midst of half-hearted devotion.